Therapy and IVF:

It Can Be Beneficial Before You Even Begin Treatment

One thing I don't think a lot of people realise is that it is OK to seek out therapy before you are struggling. Therapy can be utilised in a lot of different ways and with IVF it can be a positive tool to help you cope better with the whole experience from the outset.

Some women come to therapy in the lead up to starting IVF and it is an opportunity to talk through fears and anxieties around it, to discuss clinic choices and treatment decisions, and to build confidence in asking questions of their consultant and doctors, to ensure they are as well-informed as possible.

The benefit of seeing a therapist who has lived through IVF and works with women who are navigating it, means that they are knowledgeable about the process. Having lived through it, I understand what it is like. And because I work with women facing IVF, I also try to stay up to date with the latest research and information about treatment.

This doesn't mean I will give advice and tell you what to do, or which clinic to choose. That is not my role as a therapist. However, I am able to help you think about what is important and ask you the kind of questions that help lead you to decisions which you feel comfortable with. I am also able to offer ideas or suggestions of things to think about or potentially explore.

Additionally, I can help you plan for how to approach treatment in the context of the rest of your life. One thing that can be important is looking at how to create some balance in your life and ensure that other aspects of life don't fall away completely once you commit to IVF - as this is something that tends to happen without women intending it to.

Women often find that IVF takes over and starts to consume them, particularly over time, until it feels like they have very little left outside of it. This can feel really difficult. However, with planning and prioritising, there are ways to try and ensure that you are still able to participate in some other interests or other aspects of life that you enjoy, which may also help you relax and stay calmer - so it actually benefits you during the process as well.

Then, once IVF begins, therapy can act as a constant during a time that tends to be filled with uncertainty and overwhelm.  A lot of women say that getting support from someone who actually understands what they are talking about and experiencing, is a real relief, and makes them feel less isolated and alone.

In therapy with me, I invite clients to share whatever they are thinking and feeling, without judgement or criticism. You don't have to put on a brave face, or stay strong the whole time. You can share the complexity of what it is like for you, including all the dark and difficult feelings you may be having.

I also don't believe in toxic positivity - where people try to make you think positive about things all the time - as in my view this isn't realistic or helpful.  IVF is challenging, and it is important to acknowledge that. So when you work with me what you will receive is authenticity, compassion, understanding and support.

I will hold onto hope that things work for you, but I will also welcome the fear, anxiety, hurt, despair and anger that you may be feeling - and any other feelings as well. It can be a rollercoaster of emotions and all those emotions deserve to be expressed and validated.

This is not an exhaustive list of the benefits of therapy when going through IVF, far from it. There are so many ways in which it can be beneficial. But I think it is important to recognise that therapy doesn't need to be seen as something you turn to when you are getting to the point of no longer being able to cope. It is of course, very valuable then. But it can also be helpful and useful long before that.

If you are about to start IVF or it is going to be your next step in your infertility journey, please get in touch if you would like support. I offer a free introductory call, so you can see if it might be helpful for you at this stage. Contact Me